It’s tricky, because there are so many different dance steps. Individuals, for example, when they’re attempting to socially distance from others are tripping over themselves as they try to do their avoidance dance in a polite way without appearing as if they’re attempting to avoid you. And what dance is it? The waltz, the mumbo, the klutz, the twist?
Walmart’s dance is smoother, like a waltz. Two steps back and wait while the flow of traffic passes as they follow the %^&* arrows. No reverse.
The scariest place is the drugstore. It’s insides are wrapped in police tape. The steps to their dance are very complicated. I believe it’s a type of voodoo dance. Two steps forward. Three steps to the left. Two steps to the right. Four steps to the counter and doe-se-doe to the corner. One two three, one two three and then run like hell.
Sometimes Sue, Buster and I come home, start the wood-stove, leave the stove door open and smoke ourselves. We don’t think the virus likes smoke. It’s a theory.
“Hi Larry. How are you doing?”
Back step, one, two, three. Stop. Side step off the curve and one, two, three forward. Watch for cars.
Not only that. When I was in the liquor store in Port Hawkesbury, I heard a server ask for an air miles card. I just stood there. I heard it again. I looked at my cashier. She was moving her lips. So, I figured she must’ve wanted my card.
I eventually dug out my air miles card.
“Thank-you,” she said.
“Pretty good,” I replied, as I fingered the tape measure in my left hand pocket.
“Have yourself a nice day, sir.”
“Go Leafs go.”
But, I’m doing good. I feel good. I feel wonderful. I’m baby-stepping. I’m sanitizing.
“How long is this going to last?” I’m asked.
“Pretty good. Go Leafs go.” One, two, three.
Pull out my tape measure. Measure. Measure. Sanitize. Sanitize.
“Line up and stomp your feet.
Move forward, step to the beat.
Shuffle forward, one, two, three.
Not so good, I need to pee.”
Larry Gibbons, The Grocery Store Shuffle