You see, not long before Sue passed away, I’d booked a septic sucker company to come to our home and empty our septic system. There was, however, one problem. I didn’t know where the tank was.
Anyway, I cancelled that appointment and filed this alimentary system problem away in the back of my mind. There were too many other issues to think about. However, it pushed its way to the front of the line the day that my toilet lost its flushing power.
He’d heard another fella say that the tank should be about sixteen feet from the trailer, so that’s the area he searched.
I did a little digging myself, but had no luck, so I phoned another fella and asked him if he could find the septic system.
This fella began pick-axing from the hole in the pipe place and worked his way to about sixteen feet from the trailer. No septic tank was located.
Now, I did make an appointment to get the tank emptied but in the meantime, and it was a fairly long meantime, I wasn’t using the toilet. However, I had my methods. It’s a bit easier to solve when you live where I live. Plus, now that we’re talking coincidences, I found, a week or so later, what I think they call, a commode. It was at a neighbour’s house. I had given it to the neighbour. Sue, had found it and carried it home. We weren’t sure why. Now I think I know why and so I had an unflushable but handy toilet bowl. What a coincidence, eh?
The nice man emptied the tank, rolled up his big sucker hose and then, well I did what I had been regularly doing. I paid him.
You see, because of how hectic my life had become, I had been foolishly dumping old dishwashing water down the toilet, without adequately poking around in the murky water to make sure that nothing was hiding under the soap suds.
Of course, before the plumber left, I paid him.
You may be wondering what this septic tank story has to do with my being part of a play.
I was in the drive-through. When I got to the ordering square I said, “One small Iced Cap.”
The servers who all seem to have poor hearing, said, “Any thing else?”
I said, “No thanks.”
Then the server surprised me. She asked me, no, ye verily, she told me to stay put. I was to stay put. Can you believe that?
The reason I had to be inconvenienced, and what a coincidence, was because a huge, loud, septic sucking truck was beep, beep, beeping its way in front of me. A man, not the same man who pumped out my tank, got out of the truck, and unrolled a big hose which he hooked up to Tim Horton’s septic tank.
See what I mean? I was living in a play called, A Seriously Stuffed Septic System. The play unfolded and unfolded and then threw out a surprise ending before the curtain came down. It was as if the universe put a big period at the end of my septic sucking experience. It threw a septic truck in front of me as I was going about the normal business of driving through a Timmy’s drive-through.
Has this happened to you after you’ve just spent over a month dealing with your septic system? Just a coincidence? An annoyance? Or maybe, a well thought out play with all its actors in their right places?
“You’re using a GPS aren’t you,” I said.
He showed me his phone with the GPS on it while Dominic yapped and yelped, as he tried to gnaw on his tires.
“You’ll have to turn around and go back to the main road. Keep going until you see a huge blinking sign that says, ‘Detour, Road Closed, Local Traffic Only. Make a right there.”
He thanked me and drove away while Dominic wildly barked, as he desperately tried to chase the truck. He is obsessed with chasing cars.
People are obsessed with chasing their GPS.