My Coffee Monster

Snow Covered Apple Trees

Some months ago, I stopped at the Dancing Goat. While in the line-up, I mentioned to a friend that coffee and I don’t get along. 

However, I was in a party mood. I thought, at my age, I shouldn’t have to think about my past coffee experiences. After all, I have been able, from time to time, to drink coffee without too many negative repercussions. So, I gambled that I would be just fine.

So, I ordered an ice coffee. I then drank the ice coffee. I felt like I was a normal person drinking ice coffee.

​We then drove around the Cabot Trail. I stopped at certain stores where I gave them some copies of my novel to sell. I was happy and revved up.

The next morning I woke up with a slight migraine. The scariest part was that I also had a migraine aura. That’s where I lose partial vision for about twenty minutes. I get to look at lightening bolts in my head. 

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Bad enough, you would think. However, I also had a sore throat. I thought I might have snored too much and that was why I had a sore throat, but I wasn’t sure. It could be covid or the start of some other bad disease. 

I also had a lot of phlegm. I tried and tried to cough up the mucus. Suddenly, as I hacked and whacked away at the phlegm, I felt something in my throat. It felt solid. Not like mucus. 

 I now aggressively and anxiously tried and tried to cough it up, but I couldn’t get it out of my throat or down my throat.

That’s when I thought, “Oh my god, it’s a tumour.” 

I then took a quick glance at Dominic. How would he get along without me? I could die from a throat tumour? Poor Dominic. Poor me.

​I kept trying to cough up this attached chunk of something. Then I tasted blood. God! Now blood too!? 

I rushed to the washroom and spit out blood into the sink. I spit and spit until I finally managed to clear the blood out of my mouth, but by this time, I was in full caffeine panic.

​You see, my caffeine experiences can set up some pretty authentic reactions and scenarios. Why wouldn’t I go rat poop crazy with this caffeine reaction? 

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Sue's Memorial Bench up High on Left Side of Photo

God love me. I made a decision. I rushed to the Inverness hospital. Where I discovered that my blood pressure was somewhere above the ceiling, my tumour was called a uvula, (which is a fleshy part of my throat, and had every right to be there), the blood came from a harmless canker and I was suffering from coffee madness. 

​I felt better. 

Some other good news. Going to the hospital had scared the crap out of my sore throat. 

​I still drink coffee from time to time. I’m a gambling kind of guy.