BEAVER BATTLE

WAITING FOR A RIDE

I was wondering, as I wrapped trees with chicken wire, whether I’m not playing a part in the absurd. Sort of like the politics that have been going on and on and on south of us.

Voltaire wrote, ”Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.”

​The Queen, in Lewis Carroll’s book, “Through the Looking Glass,” attempted to convince Alice to believe absurdities. She said, “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six thousand impossible things before breakfast.”

APPLE TREE IN FALL

But, what about my trying to keep the beavers from chewing down our trees? You see, the trees’ roots tighten down the soil and help prevent the river from eroding its way up to our mobile home’s front steps and beyond. 

BEAVER DAMAGE

I bought, in a sudden leap of faith, two rolls of fifty feet by four feet of chicken wire. Of course, it had to be pointed out to me that four feet becomes minus two feet if there’s six feet of snow on the ground. We’re liable to get at least three to five feet of snow. Rather discouraging.

SCENE NEAR CHETICAMP

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WONDER WHO LIVES IN THAT HOUSE?

I did cover a partially chewed apple tree with about two and a half feet of wire before I bought the roll of chicken wire and on Sunday I saw that a Jolly Green Giant beaver had already started gnawing on the trunk above the wire. Must be yummy. He also chewed an exposed root. So, I wrapped my new four-foot chicken wire around the tree and used fence staples to attach it to the trunk and the exposed root. I hope the trees are not beyond saving.

DRYING OFF BUSTER

The resources person told me we could get a trapper who might charge around one hundred dollars per dead beaver. Trappers used to get money for the pelts, but now they get more for killing them for guys like me. I don’t want to go that route if I can help it.

THE SUN APPROACHES

“You’ve got to realize,” he said, “that they can give birth to up to six kits in a year.” Nice to know they are fertile and don’t use birth control. That’s a lot of hungry tree chompers.

Another fella said, “There’s fifty or sixty beavers on this part of the river.” Nice to know.

FOG BLOCKS VIEW FROM SQUIRREL MOUNTAIN

Apparently the best approach is to put metal around the trees. How absurdly expensive would that be? 

​They also say you can paint the trees with paint and sand. However, it washes off. Always a catch, and of course one fella had to say to me, “Beavers floss with chicken wire.” Yuk, yuk. So absurd.

MIST LIFTS

There are good and bad things about using chicken wire. One good thing is it’s not too expensive and it doesn’t need to be hooked together with anything. The bad part is the small pointy pieces of wire will also hook to everything else. The tiny metal claws poking my skin, getting a death grip on my coat and yanking away at my pants. The chicken wire also hooks itself to itself when I don’t want it to, so I’m constantly shouting, “Unhand yourself, you oaf!”

JALAL, VINCENT & ME ON SQUIRREL MOUNTAIN

Of course, there’s also the grabby branches I have to walk the chicken wire through to get to the tree subjects I plan to beaver-gnaw-proof. They’re also catching onto everything and constantly yanking my tuque away from my head. Specially one son of a bit off muffin. 

VINCENT ENJOYING HOT TEA ON THE TRAIL

So, at times I’m praying the river will throw one of its hissy-fit floods our way. The rushing water could tear the beaver dam to rat crap if it was in a really foul mood.

JALAL MAKING HOT SOUP ON THE SPOT

Of course you’ve heard the saying, busy as a beaver. Totally true. Totally hard workers, totally persistent and totally tenacious in following their set work schedules and if you tear down their dams, they don’t re-use their building material. No, they don’t give a damn. They just use brand new material, which means they’re chewing down more trees. They’re the kind of consumers our society prays for. 

VINCENT'S SQUIRREL MOUNTAIN PAIL. A GIFT FROM ME

So, as I wrap wire and poke myself, my knees soaking up the wet snow, I sometimes think about the crazy absurd political talk that’s going on outside our little woods. Which helps make me aware of how lucky I am to be listening to the purring river, to be smelling the soil and damp leaves, with the chickadees occasionally interrupting my work to give me the message that the feeder is empty.

TRAIL TO MEDITATION SPOT

AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS WEEK.